Forever is a Distance [#11]

She was a teen, he was a young adult. There were times when she really missed him and just wanted to express her feelings, but looking back at the relationship with him, it was nothing. They were no longer together, she had no right to be jealous with whoever he hung out with, she had no right to say “I love you” nor “I miss you” anymore. Although they didn’t break up for the old, same reason but it was that they couldn’t be together. They were perfect for each other, their love was dreamy, they ended up parting ways for their age gap, however.

 17453740_623846054481204_330451042_oHe loved her and she loved him, but they remained as friends because they both had a fear of losing each other. Accidentally, they built up this wall of fears and insecurities. She knew for the best they wouldn’t last yet they both tried to tie it down any way possible. On those last days of their love, he took her to the beach, the worries, the dark thoughts, all got washed up by the shores.

Ever since that day, they were fond of each other, not a couple, but as brother and sister. His life, her life, no one knew much about it. They laid under the same stars but their heart ached for the cold, bitterness of the universe. She chose to pursue him in her dreams, it was a tough decision, for it to let him be her 3AM thoughts. She blindly devoted to her long-term, one-sided love despite how dreadful that was. She cried herself to sleep every night, she was pathetic, living her life as a chaotic, apologetic mess. 

She couldn’t rebound to another love, her heart ached inside of her and she was sitting there cluelessly, didn’t know what to do with her life. She told him she didn’t want to be a sister anymore but truly a friend. Her words cut her heart, the wounds, dripping blood endlessly. Her own writing locked her up. She was ruining both hearts. She was afraid to face the destruction of reality.

She missed all the convos that she had, all the kisses, the hugs, the cuddles, the locks, every single thing. She missed both the memories and the person. For her, he wasn’t an ex, he was more than the universe, a person who she truly deeply loved and cared for. Sometimes it hit her out of nowhere. All of a sudden, this overwhelming sadness rushed it over her and she got discouraged, upset and hopeless, sad and hurt. Once again, she became numb to the world. She just wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew who she was and she wished he was there with her. But little did she know, he chased her through heaven and hell since the first day. They didn’t regret meeting one another, but for the time period that split the souls.

Credits: Anonymous Writer

Personal Experience: I grew older and maturer through love! [#10]

Today, I am here to tell you my own love story which is shameful of me to be involved but I hope at the end of this post, you will learn something meaningful. All races and genders don’t deserve this type of love.

About a year and a half ago, this end of stupidity and endless nightmares matured me into a love expert. That was when I grew my passion of becoming so deeply obsessed with what I am here today. I grew older and learned my lesson through my first step outside the world. I am truly glad now that I know what is like and what is love. That those two should never mix together like a bowl of flour and not everything is ingredients. Realizing your own feelings before moving further is the greatest weapon of not to get hurt painfully wounded and be tricked by the foolery of any kind of relationship. Define clearly what is the relation of the two and don’t just dismiss of what you don’t like to be heard about.

So me and this guy, T.V., were just friends, nothing more serious. Long story short, we liked each other but never became a couple. Although we did friend zoned each other, both were protective of one another during the whole month after we officially announced a serious and intense friendship. During that whole month of talking frequently and lovely, he kinda got bored of me and piled excuses after excuses and ranted how busy he was to the point that he couldn’t talk much to me those days. And this pattern lasted a couple more months until Christmas of that year when I found out that he married a girl exactly a month earlier. Obviously, I was already used to his attitudes and it wasn’t much of a surprise for me, but still it was a brutally shocking news. From that day on, we never talked again.

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Real quick update about him, he is currently married and still works as a product manager at Tiki in Vietnam. Before when it was still pink, he was as charismatic as a celebrity. Black, short and very tailored-look hair combs backwards nicely under the glossy locks of gel. His golden smile generally brings out the smooth, clear complexion and high cheekbones of him. His full, flat, and blunted tails of brows add more luxurious sparks to his nice and broad smile. I was blindly head over heals in love with him.

The most heard saying that he ever said to me was excuses of his work. He blamed me for not being a patient and understanding companion like I said in the beginning. Honestly, no one is busy 24/7, one way or another, everyone sure has a free time everyday. It’s just them who choose to use excuses instead of admitting to their faults. When the game goes downhill or over, everything is simply a justification for lies.

There’s a saying, “Once a cheater always a cheater.” Although T.V. didn’t physically and seriously cheated on his girlfriend or who now is his wife, his infidelity will always remain deep down his heart and the rivers of blood flowing. What I wish I could find out now about that person is that his true colors would be exposed coincidentally by his wife. My wish does seem selfish but the truth needs to stay real. 

16930704_610919259107217_964937017_oNo one should ever deserved to be loved and treated this way. I didn’t feel offended nor hurt. I wasn’t overwhelmed by this but not all of us feel the same way. Love is blind and it can be foolish. But as long as you realize your own feelings right from the beginning, you won’t be deeply affected later if hope turns you down. For my story, I did predict the future somewhat similar to the outcome but after a while being surprised and shocked, I became strong-minded and fiercer like nothing ever happened. If you happen to be risky and playful, you gotta stay strong and stable until the end. What is not worth your time has already turn into the past for a reason. So if you know someone who is in the same situation as I was, spread the words.

 

Does like have a correlation with love? [#9]

As a love adviser, I wonder about like and love quite often. They’re basically a part of my fundamentals that just can’t be missed out. I often hear people say they are exactly the same thing, but just different terms. To me, synonyms carry the same concept but are slightly different in its own distinctive definition.

I believe like and love are the two different situations. Like is more of like a feeling, a brief feeling that we have for a person just by their physical appearance, public characteristics, and how their overall appeals to you. Whereas, love is more of like having a serious crush. You interact with them, you play with them long enough that you understand what their personality is, inside and out. 5936745264_cc61107849_o

When the right timing comes, you start to develop feelings and you think about a long-term relationship that you could have with them. So yes, affection and attachment do contribute a part to bordering the line between the two. Crushes aren’t necessarily have to be deep feelings, majority is “like” crushes and they’re simply composed of a passing infatuation for someone. We find ourselves very passionate in the burning desires to be with someone.              Photo mulan 2011 © (CC BY-SA 2.0)

I asked other people what they think about it, and they said that like can eventually lead to what we all know, love. Without the basic background of all your interests for that person, you definitely cannot build up love. It’s like playing with Lego, pretend you’re assembling a car but rather than starting at step one, you skip straight ahead to step 4, then you’ll be missing a permanent part of your final product unless you undo it and build it all over again. Just like love, you can’t fully have their heart unless you build a strong foundation.

Usually, it’s the distance, similarities, and attractiveness that bring people together and enclose their feelings. Living nearby, having similar tastes, preferences, interests, and fashion styles, those are necessities for a much stronger and deeper attachment to be built but not yet to enter the phase of being in a relationship. However, in rare cases do the abnormal, odd, extraordinary yet unique traits and differences charm the other person. Traditionally, people tend to stick with the common ones, but some find those weird personalities very interesting.

So we put our thoughts together and we believe that most of the times, you can construct a strong standing ground of love based off of your basics but it also depends on the interactions. In other words, endearment can occur at anytime as long as you have a strong supporter and background to back you up. For example, a friend likes another friend in school. You go to school and meet that person everyday, you interact with them in person even if no words are spoken. The more time you see that friend, the more emotions that will be intrigued. On the opposite hand, let’s say fans and celebrities, fans don’t get to see their idols every time they go out. Some possible ways to see them are to attend their events or just happen to see them on the streets.

Comparing the interaction you have with the first example, it’s much lesser so therefore less endearment is kept and held. However, there are certain fans that exceed the limits and overdo their actions that can be very creepy and annoying. Those think their idols are the sources of life for them, without the presences of the celebrities, death is very likely to be faced or it might be external conflict with the world. Another key factor that matters as well is the gap between, awkwardness. Even if hobbies, interests, and personalities match, the conversations determine whether the two are compatible or not. Too much silence and awkwardness can’t conclude anything no matter how much you claim the love for that person.

After all the analysis and discussions, we came up with a final decision. There are likes that can only go up to a certain level and stop progressing before love. There are also likes that’ll grow to extend beyond infinity. Recap, love for a pop star can be passionate, aggressive, sometimes crazy but that burning desire is not as long and deep for our friend. A great demonstration is this, no fans have ever ended up being in a relationship because the affection a celebrity has for their friends is just the casual and friendly but there are some exceptions, however that is very rarely to happen. Despite that fan – idol’s love, there’s a higher chance that you’ll experience the real highness of love. Fans and celebrities are like partners in business, while friends with friends are more of like a family displaying one as a mother and another as the father.

Nevertheless, there’s an ugly truth regarding high school relationships. I know we’re not talking about relationship today but since it’s relating to the topics, I might as well share this with you guys. This is what I’ve read in articles and saw other people’s affair: depends on each individual’s destiny, there is a rather high possibility that your high school sweetheart might not follow you through the rest of your life. And I think it’s very true, here’s why. At a certain point of your life, you’ll be opened to new exposures, like meet more people, make new friends in new environments. Your capability of meeting new people and making new friends is not limited as soon as you step out of your comfort zone that you have been stuck in for quite a while. Just like when you move from middle school to high school, the perspectives will change, the girl that you promise to love forever is now a girlfriend of another guy. Childhood love is very innocent and delicate, only those that choose to cherish the happy moments forever can get through life’s obstacles and scandalous meetups.

What is the difference between lust and friends with benefits? [#7]

What is lust? What is a friend with benefits? So last week, I talked about what’s the difference between like and love. If you didn’t notice, the last post was the beginning of this whole series that I am currently working on. After several blog posts of kinda like random and like an introduction to this whole concept of love, I decided to start a series but because this is the first one so I’d like to explain and analyze the definition of relationships in general.

So what are the exact meanings of lust and friends with benefits? Well, according to Urban Dictionary, lush is “The purely physical attraction and has no lasting effect.” Whereas, friends with benefits include “Two friends have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.” In other words, lust is the sexual attraction between strangers (not close) and friends with benefits are two good friends willing to exchange that strong sexual desire without a commitment.

So just like last week’s post, here are the differences between lust and friends with benefits:

  1. Lust starts off with the good physical appearance and intimacy, while FWB is based on the good friendship you two have but doesn’t really care much about their outer looks nor their affection.
  2. Lust is more of like a short term relationship, if a certain person doesn’t pass your expectations, you pass them on. FWB, after all is based on friendship, under whatever circumstances, the 2 people will still remain as friends, in most of the cases.
  3. Lust plans to meet frequently, FWB meets up only when they have needs.
  4. Partners in lust support each other both financially and emotionally, friends support each other only emotionally.
  5. Friend with friend, there is no romantic commitment nor expectation. A person with a person keeps the company going strong and healthy.

So basically, to sum up everything, no matter what the circumstances are, friends don’t change their friendship status unless something serious happens. 2 people in a temporary period expects one another to be good at a certain part of the relationship or the whole play.

What’s the difference between like and love? [#6]

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Hey there, I am back again. I am so tired right now and can’t stop complaining how busy my weeks are *chuckled*. I thought I had a real break but actually it was just the “schedule” was more flexible. Most of the time I spent during my Thanksgiving break was on my homework. But anyway, how were your Thanksgiving and Black Friday? Probably some got the whole break off or just a day off on last Thursday or even no day off. So on the last Thursday of the , me and my family didn’t do anything special beside going out to eat, and spent some time together reflecting upon our gratefulness. So today, we’re gonna discuss about the difference between like and love which is the most controversial topic and the fundamental of all relationship.

Hey there, I am back again. I am so tired right now and can’t stop complaining how busy my weeks are *chuckled*. I thought I had a real break but actually it was just the “schedule” was more flexible. Most of the time I spent during my Thanksgiving break was on my homework. But anyway, how were your Thanksgiving and Black Friday? Probably some got the whole break off or just a day off on last Thursday or even no day off. So last week, me and my family didn’t do anything special beside going out to eat, and spent some time together reflecting upon our gratefulness.

First, let’s define what do those terms mean. Like is a temporary feeling that you can have for any person in life and especially at first sight. Most of the times, you like someone for their outer appearance and their positive traits. Love, on the other hand, is a strong feeling of affection that is built overtime. They tend to have an everlasting bond between two persons. Now that we know the definitions, let’s move on to the main thing. Here are the differences:

  1. Like is very pleasant, but love has stronger and much deeper affection and attachment.
  2. Like is mostly seen through the physical appearance and good traits of an individual while love is unconditional.
  3. Like only wants to share the happy moments in life, love wants to share the hardships together.
  4. A great example is that if you like a bug, you would keep it, but if you love the animal, you would return it to the wilderness and its natural habitat.
  5. When you like someone, you only want them to know about your strengths, when you love someone though, you want them to know both your strengths and weaknesses.
  6. Like is only for positive and sweet sayings, whereas in love, you can say anything you want, both bad and good stuffs.
  7. You can never liked their weaknesses and get along with it unless you understand it or even love it.
  8. Love produces more tears than like.
  9. A person who likes you only want to take advantage of you, but a person who loves is willing to make sacrifices.
  10. Like is here and there, love is here and here.

These are just the most common differences, of course there are more to prove how one term is different from another. But basically, the main difference here is that like is short term and love is long term. It is often mistaken between the two in which I’ll explain more in the next series.

Anyways, thank you so much for stopping by my website and actually take some time to read this. If you made it to the end, you are awesome. If you have any comments, always feel free to do so, either directly on the page or direct message me through Instagram. I’ll try my best to respond within the day. Like, comment, and share this to anybody that you feel like they should read my posts. Haha, thank you once again.

 

 

LGBT Relationships: Pros & Cons [#3]

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Last week, I briefly talked about the LGBT and how it is an important matter in our society. Today I’ll break it down deeper, the advantages and disadvantages. So these positive and negative things are what I’ve learned, read, and experienced as I go along with my life. We’ll talk about the pros first and to the cons.

Pros:

~The Accepting Generation~

Nowadays, more and more people are accepting homosexual people, especially the young adults. Meaning that the LGBT community is slowly getting accepted into the society, it might take a long time, might be quick within a few years. But definitely, there are more supporters than back then. Most of the older generations often have that attitudes of the old-fashioned ignorance, they never changed for the reason that they believe it’s rightful. Nonetheless, the more you support it, the more confident they are and they’ll carry less of a burden.

~Gender Role~

Straight couples always have to deal with gender role issues. There are certain expected responsibilities for a guy and a girl to do. The idea is ingrained from one’s culture, beliefs, customs or the influence from movies, TV shows, role models, etc. For example, when both parties know that they’re ready for marriage, the expected one to propose to another is always the masculine side. Society has overlooked the inside of a relationship knowing that all humans are equal but it’s always the men that have to initiate the confessions because they’re strong, powerful, and the bigger side to “gasp the women in their palms.”

However, that is never a problem for the homosexual couples. Whether you’re in a gay or a lesbian relationship, the genders are the same. Both of you have the same amount of duties and no “man” or “woman” is determined by the traditional relationship roles.

Cons:

~Family Attack~

Your own family could attack you for the same reason just like Tom’s parents. Religious beliefs can highly influence your love life, even if it doesn’t come from you. Many helicopter parents would work their way to get rid of your partner, even if it means murder and crime. To them, it is a sin. To you, it’s a delightful thing. Yet as a child, there’s no right for you to talk back and that is where the sadness comes once you start listening to your parents. So if you truly deeply love your partner, fight for it and don’t let the third-party to impact your relationship.

~Unnecessary Attention and Judgement in Public~

The approval of America’s same-sex love doesn’t mean that it applies for this whole planet. There are still many discrimination going on worldwide regarding the topic of LGBT love. Despite the love and support from friends and family, when you walk out of that comfort zone, everything ends. The real world is very brutal and harsh. People do stare and be curious, it is definitely hard not to do so at an unusual thing especially a gay or les couple showing affections in the public. Most will judge upon their observation whether behind their back or in person, at worst, verbally abuse. Although your strong souls claim you will be okay, the harassment will somehow get to your heart and release its “venom” slowly.

I don’t think I’ve covered all pros and cons but these are the main ones…according to my words *haha*. I do admit I sometimes stare at gays and les and question myself, but I never insulted them nor do I judge. I always remain confused for a moment and forget the next day. It’s just the natural inquisitive that makes me behave that way. This is quite a long post but I hope you guys enjoy it. Give a thumb up if you enjoy it. Bye for now!

 

 

Equality [#2]

Hey guys! I am back with another blog post. Recently, I’ve been extremely busy with school and so I couldn’t keep up with my blog, I am so sorry about my blog postponements. Today I’ll talk introduce the topic of equality. By the way, thank you all of you who stopped by.

So what is equality? It is the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities, according to Google. Love doesn’t limit genders in other words, everyone deserves the same happiness no matter what their sexuality is. Although same sex marriage was legalized last year in all US states, there are still other countries that violently abuse the LGBT communities. If here is a right, in India it is a sin. There are 77 countries out there consider homosexuality is illegal. Love will never ever be defined by genders, it is an act of caring, affections, and compatibility altogether.

I have a Vietnamese song that talks about the fairness for all homosexual people. If you don’t know Vietnamese, no worries, I’ll put translated-word-by-word lyrics down below.

If you were born a perfect person, then how come your thoughts are never perfect? If you love someone that is wrong then nobody would want to be alive. And if you think you’re right then pass this on, I don’t need to talk more. We are also humans, need to love, and also deserve happiness. Whether we want it or not, that love still comes each second each minute. This relationship is already too deep, we cannot break up, and if you think I’m wrong then I’m sorry, I don’t need to apologize twice. Dear Mom, when I mention those two words, I cry, cry a lot but I don’t know how to lessen it. I once promised that I will become a good girl, when I grow up, I’ll find someone who gives me happiness. Now you smile, but you shed tears instead. Knowing that I’m a lesbian, it hurts me a lot. I am so sorry Mom!! If you love me, please forgive me. This ungrateful kid will never be forgiven right? My mother doesn’t say anything, she just walks out and closes the door. Her eyes give off a stare like she wants me to become a different person. It’s been one day, two days, I haven’t been able to walk out of the room. Just silently glace through the door opening and observe that figure. But I feel like my mom is very distant with me. Mommy, forgive me. Daddy, forgive me. And I know the society will never accept a person like me. I’m not wrong!!! If homosexuality is a disease, then may I ask how can it be treated? If homosexuality is a crime, then may I ask how long is the sentence? If homosexual people are waste, then may I ask what class are they in this society? LGBT is not wrong, they’re just living with their real feelings, then nothing is unlawful. Never judge us based on our status. That idea makes you happy but with me, it’s ridiculous. We are still born with parents, still eat three meals a day and have manners, do you understand that? I am sick with rumors saying that my parents don’t know how to educate their children. Due to the lack of guys, that’s why she’s les and still a virgin. If you have extra energy, do something virtuous. Don’t overflow your words sexually.

Of course, not everyone’s gonna have the same opinion as me, some might be against same sex relationship some might not be as supportive as me but one thing, whatever your opinion is, that is yours and the others aren’t yours so respect others. Don’t ever bring your opinion out to insult and/or attack the LGBT because that’s a shame of humankind.

That is it. Thank you once again for reading this blog, I appreciate it. Next time, I come back, I’ll talk about the pros and cons of being in a LGBT relationship. CHEERS FOR F4L!!