Forever is a Distance [#11]

She was a teen, he was a young adult. There were times when she really missed him and just wanted to express her feelings, but looking back at the relationship with him, it was nothing. They were no longer together, she had no right to be jealous with whoever he hung out with, she had no right to say “I love you” nor “I miss you” anymore. Although they didn’t break up for the old, same reason but it was that they couldn’t be together. They were perfect for each other, their love was dreamy, they ended up parting ways for their age gap, however.

 17453740_623846054481204_330451042_oHe loved her and she loved him, but they remained as friends because they both had a fear of losing each other. Accidentally, they built up this wall of fears and insecurities. She knew for the best they wouldn’t last yet they both tried to tie it down any way possible. On those last days of their love, he took her to the beach, the worries, the dark thoughts, all got washed up by the shores.

Ever since that day, they were fond of each other, not a couple, but as brother and sister. His life, her life, no one knew much about it. They laid under the same stars but their heart ached for the cold, bitterness of the universe. She chose to pursue him in her dreams, it was a tough decision, for it to let him be her 3AM thoughts. She blindly devoted to her long-term, one-sided love despite how dreadful that was. She cried herself to sleep every night, she was pathetic, living her life as a chaotic, apologetic mess. 

She couldn’t rebound to another love, her heart ached inside of her and she was sitting there cluelessly, didn’t know what to do with her life. She told him she didn’t want to be a sister anymore but truly a friend. Her words cut her heart, the wounds, dripping blood endlessly. Her own writing locked her up. She was ruining both hearts. She was afraid to face the destruction of reality.

She missed all the convos that she had, all the kisses, the hugs, the cuddles, the locks, every single thing. She missed both the memories and the person. For her, he wasn’t an ex, he was more than the universe, a person who she truly deeply loved and cared for. Sometimes it hit her out of nowhere. All of a sudden, this overwhelming sadness rushed it over her and she got discouraged, upset and hopeless, sad and hurt. Once again, she became numb to the world. She just wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew who she was and she wished he was there with her. But little did she know, he chased her through heaven and hell since the first day. They didn’t regret meeting one another, but for the time period that split the souls.

Credits: Anonymous Writer

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Personal Experience: I grew older and maturer through love! [#10]

Today, I am here to tell you my own love story which is shameful of me to be involved but I hope at the end of this post, you will learn something meaningful. All races and genders don’t deserve this type of love.

About a year and a half ago, this end of stupidity and endless nightmares matured me into a love expert. That was when I grew my passion of becoming so deeply obsessed with what I am here today. I grew older and learned my lesson through my first step outside the world. I am truly glad now that I know what is like and what is love. That those two should never mix together like a bowl of flour and not everything is ingredients. Realizing your own feelings before moving further is the greatest weapon of not to get hurt painfully wounded and be tricked by the foolery of any kind of relationship. Define clearly what is the relation of the two and don’t just dismiss of what you don’t like to be heard about.

So me and this guy, T.V., were just friends, nothing more serious. Long story short, we liked each other but never became a couple. Although we did friend zoned each other, both were protective of one another during the whole month after we officially announced a serious and intense friendship. During that whole month of talking frequently and lovely, he kinda got bored of me and piled excuses after excuses and ranted how busy he was to the point that he couldn’t talk much to me those days. And this pattern lasted a couple more months until Christmas of that year when I found out that he married a girl exactly a month earlier. Obviously, I was already used to his attitudes and it wasn’t much of a surprise for me, but still it was a brutally shocking news. From that day on, we never talked again.

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Real quick update about him, he is currently married and still works as a product manager at Tiki in Vietnam. Before when it was still pink, he was as charismatic as a celebrity. Black, short and very tailored-look hair combs backwards nicely under the glossy locks of gel. His golden smile generally brings out the smooth, clear complexion and high cheekbones of him. His full, flat, and blunted tails of brows add more luxurious sparks to his nice and broad smile. I was blindly head over heals in love with him.

The most heard saying that he ever said to me was excuses of his work. He blamed me for not being a patient and understanding companion like I said in the beginning. Honestly, no one is busy 24/7, one way or another, everyone sure has a free time everyday. It’s just them who choose to use excuses instead of admitting to their faults. When the game goes downhill or over, everything is simply a justification for lies.

There’s a saying, “Once a cheater always a cheater.” Although T.V. didn’t physically and seriously cheated on his girlfriend or who now is his wife, his infidelity will always remain deep down his heart and the rivers of blood flowing. What I wish I could find out now about that person is that his true colors would be exposed coincidentally by his wife. My wish does seem selfish but the truth needs to stay real. 

16930704_610919259107217_964937017_oNo one should ever deserved to be loved and treated this way. I didn’t feel offended nor hurt. I wasn’t overwhelmed by this but not all of us feel the same way. Love is blind and it can be foolish. But as long as you realize your own feelings right from the beginning, you won’t be deeply affected later if hope turns you down. For my story, I did predict the future somewhat similar to the outcome but after a while being surprised and shocked, I became strong-minded and fiercer like nothing ever happened. If you happen to be risky and playful, you gotta stay strong and stable until the end. What is not worth your time has already turn into the past for a reason. So if you know someone who is in the same situation as I was, spread the words.